I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
