I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize