do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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