wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
