do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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