shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
