Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
