Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
