It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
