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I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
