Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
