i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
