I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
