Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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