To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize