This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
