Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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