Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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