he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Reggie can tackle my bush.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
