Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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