yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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