jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
