ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
