Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
