Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
