when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
