Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
