you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
