I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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