i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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