He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
