Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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