the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
