was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
