Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
