At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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