Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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