She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
