So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to calm my uterus...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
