Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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