we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When are your genitals available?
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
