i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
