i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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