with your own penis?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
