just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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