Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
