Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
