Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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