Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
