I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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