I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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