The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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