There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
