cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this will be a night to untag.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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