is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
