His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
