While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
