He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
