I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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