I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
