at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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