dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
