Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Panties = found
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
