you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
