Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My penis needs a shock collar
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
