so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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