The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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