She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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