So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
