I need help removing her.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize