dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
