idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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