I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
MIDGETS
????
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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