Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
