So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
